Today came crashing down on me

I nervously drove Britt to her 9 am counseling appointment. The roads were painted in ice and we were going to get there just in time. I was driving Brandon's car and it was pulling to the side so I stayed far behind the white delivery truck in front of me.

I didn't notice that a car in the left lane had lost control. All I saw was the bumper spin across the road and the car come to rest on the right.

The driver of the truck stumbled out and walked around the front of his truck. He seemed to be disoriented and a little shocked. I asked him if he was alright. And then I asked about the driver of the car. She looked as if she was unconscious. I opened my door and I ran as fast as I could to her window. Glass covered her like a blanket. I put my hand on hers and tried to get her to open her eyes. I pulled a tag from her waist and on it was her name and behind a picture of this beautiful little girl in a fancy dress. I looked in her back seat and saw a booster seat. No baby girl though - my heart pushed out a beat of relief.

I wasn't sure how badly she was lodged in so I walked around the front of the car. My God - there was no front of the car. Everything was pushed in and wrapped around her. I ran back to her and put my hand on her head. I prayed and panicked at the same time. I knew she was gone but I couldn't speak that. I reached in to the car and turned the engine off. Somehow in this mangled mess of metal was a running engine. I don't understand?

I watched an officer place a plastic sheet over her window and I walked back to my car. I didn't want to leave her there.

I told my daughter that everything was ok and that mom was going to cry for a minute and to not be scared; then I cried and sobbed like a child.

I can't get her face out of my mind. I drove home to my family today and she did not.

I love life and count everyday as a great blessing, but today... today we never made it to Britt's counseling and a young mother never made it back to her child.

Talk about a pain in the neck...

I'm attempting my motherly-wifely duties today.

I say attempting because I have the bones of a 90year old and any movement or position that is not agreeable to these ancient bones (no offense to you 90 year old's with "spunky young" bones) sends them into an immediate lock down mode. I seriously cannot even breathe today without pain. I CAN'T MOVE! My head is just kind of stuck here. I slept wrong. I GUESS! How does a person sleep wrong? I lay down the same way with my head on the same pillow and just ... sleep. What exactly happens to my neck at this point is a great mystery to me.

Anyway - I had to drive Morgan to piano lessons in my pajamas this morning. There was so much snow on the roads. It was an exciting ride to say the least. If my car would have gone off the road due to my lack of good peripheral vision, I would have had a grand time attempting to get a lift in my white p.j.'s with the red and blue, square stitching while slowly and stiffly walking like some kind of a mutant, robot zombie. I don't even want to think about it.

Well - like I said, I am attempting my motherly-wifely duties today and ...

what a pain in the neck!